Friday, September 23, 2005

Crystal Ball: Previewing Tomorrow’s History 


Here's a future that could be.

2006: Al Qaeda claims credit for hurricanes that strike the US. George Bush responds by asking Congress for more money to fight terrorism in Iraq.

2007: SMAC, the straight male actors’ coalition protests the casting of a gay actor in the lead role for the new Broadway musical adaptation of Three’s Company.

2008: International observers from Haiti and Bosnia arrive to monitor US elections.

2009: Major earthquake hits Southern California. Real estate developers rush to the scene to promote new luxury beachfront communities.

2010: President Jeb Bush faces impeachment charges after attempting to annex Mexico without the approval of Congress.

2011: Doctors at Johns Hopkins University announce the first brain transplant procedure. Brittany Spears offers to be a donor, but gets no takers.

2012: In the run up to the presidential election, the administration announces an end to tax cuts because the rate has reached zero.

2013: The Energy Department approves oil drilling on the National Mall in Washington.

2014: US declares war on Jamaica. President Neil Bush explains, “It’s about time we won one of these things.”

2015: Baseball record book is divided into “before steroids” and “after steroids” sections.

2016: Arnold Schwarzenegger declares himself Fuhrer.

2017: Jerry Falwell III holds a telethon to raise money for his campaign to extend suffrage to fetuses.

2018: The nuclear power industry extols the beneficial effects of genetic mutations.

2019: Consumers save time by visiting a combination loan office and gas station.

2020: Bill Gates becomes the first human to be transformed into a fully cybernetic being. Shortly thereafter, he contacts a virus and cannot be rebooted.

...or perhaps not.

// posted by Every Fool @ 10:00 PM
Comments: Post a Comment